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Q. Does our wedding have to be in a Church or could we get married in a park or a hotel?
A. In 2005 the government introduced legislation to widen the venues for civil weddings ( www.groireland.ie ) which are presently held in registry offices to include designated venues. In Northern Ireland this legislation has already come into force. However, for church weddings a church will continue to be the only place where marriages are celebrated.
Q. Who do we contact for the civil registration of marriage or to check up on these new regulations?
A. In the Irish Republic contact Joyce House, 8-11 Lombard Street East, Dublin 2. 01-6354000 http://www.groireland.ie./ In Northern Ireland General Register Office, Oxford House, 49-55 Chichester Street, Belfast BT 1 4 HL. http://www.groni.gov.uk/
Q. Do we have to have mass at our wedding ceremony?
A. The ritual for the celebration of marriage, the nuptial rite, allows for a celebration within Mass and for a celebration outside of Mass. Couples can reflect on their own practice and that of their family and friends and choose whether a Mass is right for them. The priest assisting the couple will be most helpful in guiding this reflection.
Q. How much does it cost to get married in Church?
A. Most parishes request a contribution to offset the costs of maintaining, heating and lighting the church itself. An offering for the priest, servers and sacristan is normal. Separate arrangements are made with the organist and soloists. The parish personnel can advise regarding the flowers, red carpet etc.
Q. Can my uncle play the organ at our wedding?
A. Most Churches have a parish or designated organist. This professional musician is available to couples to advise on suitable music for their wedding liturgy and to play on the day. Should the couple wish to bring their own organist they may enquire as to the parish protocol regarding visiting organists. In some instances a fee is payable to the resident organist as playing at weddings is their normal source of income.
Q. How much notice do we have to give to the priest?
A. While the minimum notice required is 3 months it is advisable to be in touch with your local priest about a year before the wedding.
Q. Do we have to do a Marriage Preparation Course?
A. The priest responsible for the wedding has an obligation under church law to ensure that each couple are adequately prepared for their wedding and married life. The normal way that this preparation is undertaken is by attending a Marriage Preparation Course with an organisation like ACCORD. If you are not doing a recognised course, it is advisable to check with your priest.
Q. Can we choose any church we like for our wedding?
A. The normal church for a wedding is in the parish of the bride, but yes a couple can approach any catholic priest and request permission to be married in a church of their choice. To avoid any misunderstanding it is good to remember that a priest in such a parish is under no obligation to facilitate you. However, marriages in oratories and chapels in schools and hospitals are not permitted. Most parishes where weddings are popular will ask the couple to provide their own priest.
Q. What paperwork do we need to complete before getting married?
A. All couples getting married in the Catholic Church must complete a Pre-Nuptial Enquiry form with their local priest. This form records the fact that the individual is baptised, confirmed and free to marry and has undertaken suitable preparation and has a good understanding of the duties and responsibilities of married life. Each individual needs to source a recent copy of their baptismal and confirmation certificates and letters of freedom from the parishes where they have lived since they were 18. The Pre-Nuptial Enquiry forms are sent to the Parish Priest where the wedding is taking place and are retained in the parish archive there.
Q Do I have to get a letter of freedom from every parish I lived in since I was eighteen?
A. This will be easy if you have only been in one or two parishes, but if you have moved around a lot you might prefer to make a sworn affidavit before a Commissioner of Oaths stating that you have never been married civilly or religiously in any jurisdiction.
Q. What music can we have at our wedding ceremony?
A. Suitable sacred music is the simple answer. Some dioceses publish lists of recommended music and give examples of music that is not suitable for the ceremony. The organist and soloists are very familiar with these regulations and will advise the couple. Veritas stores carry a selection of wedding music, such as "The Wedding Music Guide", "Our Time" on CD and in booklet form and the ACCORD CD "The Wedding Album"
Telephone: 01 8788177 Fax: 01 8786507 Website: www.veritas.ie
Q. Can I read my favourite poem at the ceremony?
A. It is advisable to discuss this with the priest who will be celebrating your wedding. Normally a reflection would be read after communion, but would never replace Scripture readings which make up the Liturgy of the Word.
Q. Can the priest tell us what to do, after all it is our wedding day?
A. The priest who is celebrating the wedding will be sensitive to the hopes and desire of the couple. He will be very well informed about liturgy and it is appropriate for him to guide the couple in the choices they make. While it is "your day" the liturgy is a celebration of the church with its norms and dignity.
Q. Can I invite my own priest to celebrate the wedding?
A. The parish priest can delegate another priest of your choice to celebrate the wedding. It is important to request this delegation at the first meeting with the parish clergy. When the new legislation is introduced it will be necessary for priests to be registered as formalisers of marriage, so a visiting priest may have to apply for that registration.
Q. My fiance is baptised but is not a Catholic and I am: can we get married in my Parish Church?
A. Yes, you may get married in your parish church provided the necessary paperwork is in order, as in completion of the pre-nuptial enquiry form, including the mixed marriage section. This is done in conjunction with your local priest. If your fiance is not baptised, you must get a dispensation from your local bishop in order to marry in the Catholic Church.
Q. My future husband was married before but he is now divorced. Will we be able to marry in Church?
A. The first step is to consult your priest and make known the details of his first marriage. As a general rule the Catholic Church does not marry people who have been divorced. However, if the first marriage was deemed not to have taken place according to a recognised form or has been annulled then you are free to marry. The most important step is to consult your priest and he will advise you on the way forward.
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